When I dream, I am young enough to have fun.  I can feel the tingle in my stomach while swinging high on a swing, or pretending to saddle up a horse waiting for me, and my friends as well, all imaginary. We galluped on these “horses” all over the playground.  Or, I am running through a sprinkler wearing nothing at all and loving to be outside in my skin.

I build fantastic castles to live in with my prince, and I am a princess bride, of course. Spring is a season of splashing in mud puddles, and jumping rope to rhymes passed down from generation to generation.  Green grass grows to be soft under bare feet.

Summer is endless when school lets out.  I have dreams of floating on a raft in calm fresh water, picking up pebbles and shells on a beach to bring home in a sandy pail.  There is the tinkling of bells coming my way, the ice cream truck.  I make mad dashes to get ten cents for an ice cream bar, or twenty cents to get one for my dad, too.

Bubble gum, roller skates, tag, kickball games, and the warm sun on my back is summertime.  Running with my dog as fast as I can is wonderful.  I can also fly a kite and not get it tangled in the trees. Everything smells good.  I can smell my mother cooking dinner, the music playing on a stereo in the house.

Then, I wake up.  I have raised four kids to know of some of the childhood wonders plus some.  I need to have grandchildren I guess, and I realize that I am old enough to have them.

I stretch in bed to feel every sore joint in my body, much as one selects a sore tooth in the mouth with a tongue.  I have not humiliated myself to wear a bathing suit in years.  I want a dog, but do not know if I can walk it. When I shower I avoid looking in the horrid mirror as I dry off.  I wear stretched out pants, and comfortable shoes.  I am sad, then glad to be alive for this shorter spring and summer. (I hibernate and read through the winter). I have a cat that walks across my keyboard while I type and she sticks to me like a burr.  She is asleep on my scanner. The thing is, I can take a nap now when I want to dream a dream when life is an endless period of time when airplanes fly overhead and satellites twinkle in low orbit in the sky.  Or, my children are with me playing on the driveway with sidewalk chalk.  We are making huge bubbles with glycerin in the soapy water in the kiddie pool. I am playing with my daughters’ hair, and cardboard boxes linked together make a tunnel of terror for them all.  I wake up, sigh, and go to the fridge for a popsicle.  I am never old when I dream, and I will never again be as young as I am today.