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Author: Sharon Clemons

Essay · Uncategorized

On Writing

July 11, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

I have been writing throughout my life.  I have four picture books, half of a crappy novel, short stories, poetry, essays, and of course humor.  I have been published, but went to a dismal presentation about writing and its reality as a money maker at the local university.  She told us that if we are… Continue reading On Writing

Humor

Zoo Peanuts

July 11, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

While in high school, our art class teacher often took us to the Detroit Zoo.  We scattered and drew in our sketchbooks.  We drew animals and people watching animals.  It was great fun in the spring of the year.  We also bought peanuts, unsalted, in their shells.  I ate peanuts, but had never seen any… Continue reading Zoo Peanuts

Humor

Cigarette Purchases

July 11, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

I took German and Spanish at the same time while in high school.  I cannot advise that unless you plan to be a national level interpreter.  I cried through German assignments, and a friend of mine would help me with translation lessons from time to time. I went to college, a big ten university.  For… Continue reading Cigarette Purchases

Humor

Lunch Break

July 10, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

I came home around two p.m. from High School.  I unlocked the door and came in with an armful of books.  There were no school backpacks in Paleolithic times.  I saw my dad laying on the couch with his arm over his mouth. “Why are you home so early?” I asked.  “Are you sick?” He… Continue reading Lunch Break

Humor

Halloween Stressed

July 10, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

We went to a Halloween party in a suburb northwest of Detroit.  We were young, 23, and in costumes.  My friend went with my fiance and I to the party.  We all were teachers and the party was a bit tame by today’s standards.  We left the party around one a.m..It started to rain hard… Continue reading Halloween Stressed

Humor

A Set of Keys

July 10, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

I was an only child, a girl of thirteen.  I had no younger brothers who ran around the house naked as the day they were born.  My girls did. One evening I was headed to my bedroom.  I knew my dad was taking a bath.  Well, as I approached the bathroom my dad emerged in… Continue reading A Set of Keys

Humor

Moment of Curly Hair

July 9, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

My husband had a head of thick, curly hair.  My hair is straight as a string and thin.  I bought a home permanent to make my hair curly.  My husband knew nothing about this.  I surprised him with the whole kit on our tiny kitchen table. It was a Saturday.  He had time. He read… Continue reading Moment of Curly Hair

Humor

Manger Catastrophe

July 9, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

Christmas was a month away.  I asked my husband for shopping money. I had $100.00 on a charge card.  I cried myself to sleep that night.  I loved Christmas.  I tried shopping for gifts for our parents.  It was futile.  I went to a fabric store and there were sewing patterns there for Christmas.  I… Continue reading Manger Catastrophe

Humor

Rejection Slips

July 8, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

I wanted to be a ballerina, but my sense of direction caused me to go left when all the other dancers went right.  Art classes came next.  I can draw with pencils, pen and ink, and crayons.  I can use a watercolor wash to spice up my line drawings.  But, finally I landed on writing… Continue reading Rejection Slips

Humor

Sex Ed.

July 8, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

My dad was an assistant principal at a junior high off Eight Mile in Warren, Michigan.  He was not a morning person.  My mother made him hot cereal with milk, stirred it, and added juice and a cup of coffee so strong that a spoon would stand up in it.  He dressed in a suit… Continue reading Sex Ed.

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