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Sharon Clemons

Out of My Mind.

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Category: Humor

Humor

Going, Going, Gone Fishing

May 22, 2017June 17, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

My husband and my dad went fishing one afternoon on Lake Huron. They had their fishing rods and reels, bait, fish net, and anchor.  They lined up the boat with a cabin on the beach, and searched for the weed bed.  When they found it, my dad told my husband to throw out the anchor.… Continue reading Going, Going, Gone Fishing

Humor

Crossword Puzzled

May 22, 2017June 17, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

After I got the four kids to their bus stop nearby I dragged myself home to survey the damage done to our house.  I took off my coat, hat, mittens, scarf, and boots.  Then I poured myself a cup of ink called coffee in the hateful coffee pot.  It was around nine a.m..  I called… Continue reading Crossword Puzzled

Humor

Ballerino

May 21, 2017June 17, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

My very first dream of my future life was to become a ballerina.  I woke up at five thirty to do an hour at the ballet barre in the basement.  I did this with joy and a fire in my heart.  I was able to stretch and bend when I was young.  I did work… Continue reading Ballerino

Humor

Cruise Uncontrolled

May 18, 2017June 17, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

My mother had a brand new Cadillac.  Once every other week she would need to go to town.  Her home on Lake Huron was also off a highway.  She was 5’2″ tall and as thin as wire.  I went with her on a few occasions.  She was afraid of the airbags in the car.  She… Continue reading Cruise Uncontrolled

Humor

Pickles

May 17, 2017June 17, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

Our youngest son escaped from my view as a toddler.  I watched all four kids through the kitchen and bedroom windows, plus I watched their playmates.  There were no fenced yards.  It would not have mattered anyway because he was a “climber.”  He often climbed up on top of our van and stood there long… Continue reading Pickles

Humor

Knock, Knock

May 15, 2017June 17, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

We lived in a child friendly neighborhood with no fences.  There were our four kids, the next door neighbor’s four kids, and others…many others.  Keeping track of them and doing other necessary things was hard.  I heard a knock on the front door.  I yanked the door open and was in the middle of asking… Continue reading Knock, Knock

Humor

He’s Cheating

May 15, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

My mother lived with us at times, bless her heart.  Our household was always in chaos with four kids and all of their friends running in and out.  She lived a different life.  I was an only child, and the greeting I got home when I arrived home was always, “Keep your hands off the walls.” I… Continue reading He’s Cheating

Humor

Bubble Stuff

May 15, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

We had a swimming pool.  One morning I had a headache.  There was a full moon.  With one eye open I looked out the kitchen window.  The swimming pool looked funny.  It looked like it was frosted, like a cake.  I forced myself outside to see what in the hell was going on out there.… Continue reading Bubble Stuff

Humor

Showdown At The O.K….

May 12, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

We moved to Florida some years back.  We bought a home in Cape Coral.  Cape Coral is the swamp that was drained without realizing it was up to its ass in alligators.  Living there, you are 180 miles from Cuba.  It is in the subtropics.  Houses were built along the grid of canals that were… Continue reading Showdown At The O.K….

Humor

Horsing Around

May 11, 2017June 18, 2020 Sharon ClemonsLeave a comment

Danny Boy was a new horse to the huge riding stable where my daughter took very expensive riding lessons.  We saw him in his stall and he was a sad horse.  I was menopausal.  The women in the “OFFICE” and I exchanged many terse conversations.  I told them that Danny Boy was sad.  I more… Continue reading Horsing Around

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